As the holidays dwindle and January creeps in, we are annually left with the collective itch to uproot every maladaptive habit and finally fill in the blank.
Now, I enjoy a clean slate as much as the next person but to put so much pressure on one arbitrary day out of 365 just doesn’t feel right. It parallels the “diet starts Monday” approach, while reinforcing an all-or-nothing attitude and ultimately, a lifestyle (and life) of extremes. For these reasons, among others, I’m out on New Year’s resolutions. But I am all in on small simple steps that support long-lasting diet and lifestyle behavior change – and yes, there is a difference.
Though made with good intentions, big sweeping overnight changes like those made to take effect on January 1st, come and (shortly thereafter) go with a bang. According to a 2016 study, of the 41% of Americans who make New Year’s resolutions, by the end of the year only 9% feel they are successful in keeping them! Which begs the question: why do the majority of big goals and resolutions fail?
I’d be lying if I said that I knew point blank the answer to this deeply nuanced and personal question; but I do have a pretty good idea. Big overnight goals aren’t met because they don’t come to exist in an environment that supports their success. Simply setting a goal isn’t enough. You must also set small steps in motion to support said goal. Doing this is a more active approach that accounts for a healthy and realistic margin for error. The best part? Doing so isn’t predicated on any set time of day or year. On the contrary, small shifts can (and should) be integrated over and over and over again. Moreover, small shifts aren’t goals. They are specific steps and strategies that help support your goals.
So, if you’re setting goals this year, don’t forget to also set in motion subtle (yet profound) steps to support your bigger picture. As most New Year’s resolutions orbit around diet and lifestyle, these are my top four simple steps to support the change you want to see… in yourself.
1. Connect to the feeling you want to experience and not the number on the scale.
When we fixate on the numbers, we miss the point entirely. The number is nothing without the story we project onto it. If you want to lose weight, ask yourself why. Then, like a prodding child, continue to ask yourself why until you get to the root feeling you’re after. Remember, a number is just a number. It’s the narrative we give it that drives us.
I want to lose weight. Why?
So, I can fit into my old clothes. Why?
So, I can feel good when I go out in public. Why?
So, I can feel good in my body. Why?
So, I can find love. Why?
So, I can love myself. Why?
So, I can feel whole.
I want to feel whole.
The desire to feel whole is an exponentially stronger force of change and action than that of being able to fit into old clothes. Wouldn’t you agree? Try it out and see for yourself.
2. Incentivize yourself with positive feedback loops.
If the post-work out high isn’t motivation enough for you yet, create a reward system to reinforce the neural pathway that movement and physical exercise is a beneficial and positive act to be prioritized. For example, just as you would train a pet, after a workout, treat yourself to a delicious protein shake or sauna session. Maybe you watch 30 minutes of Netflix or if you’re working out at home, maybe you allow yourself to watch Netflix during your workout. Whatever it is, you want to create a new pattern pathway that links exercise and feeling good. Overtime, this will happen naturally with the release of endorphins as studies show that “higher physical activity is significantly related to better life satisfaction and happiness in young, middle-aged, and older adults.”
3. Enlist an accountability buddy.
This could be your partner, roommate, best friend or even one of your parents. They don’t need to live with you – though that certainly does help. If you don’t feel comfortable asking any of the above, reach out to me or another nutritionist/health coach that you trust. Though it may sound simple, calling in someone to keep you accountable might just be the missing link for your success. Especially for women, studies show that women benefit from accountability and social support as they relate to reaching their health and fitness goals.
Having an accountability buddy is helpful because it requires that you speak and share you goals with someone else. It’s also helpful in the sense that you can reach out to them in weak, lazy or busy moments and say things like, “I really don’t feel like working out. Should I go to the gym?” You will be absolutely amazed how reinforcement from one person can change your headspace.
4. Just show up.
Not every day will be a perfect day of eating and not every workout will be your personal best. We often get hung up on this and it’s why so many people throw in the towel and give up. But when you shift your focus on “just showing up,” you keep consistent effort. You don’t have any break back moments because in each day-to-day you have one job and one job only.
Depending on the time of day, week and month, your weight will fluctuate; especially if you are a woman. When you go on vacation, which I hope you do often, you likely (read: hopefully) won’t be killing it in the gym because you’re living your best life on vacation. Period. This is all part of the plan. Don’t try to lose weight on vacation; don’t make yourself feel guilty for celebrating birthdays, weddings and family food memories. In your normal day-to-day, eat a predominantly whole foods diet and move your body. In other words, just show up. Eat and move for how you want to feel later and remember: it’s not about the weight lost or strength gained. It’s about the person you become along the way.
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Any health-related information published here is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
